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Brentsville says goodbye to friend, son, classmate Trenum
At first, the circle of students gathered at midfield maybe featured a dozen or so teenagers, virtually all donning a white T shirt of some kind.
Soon enough though, through screams of others to join, the circle grew and grew, eventually becoming more rectangular.
Brentsville District HS varsity football head coach Dean Reedy, standing in the north end zone holding a post-game press conference, looked over his left shoulder and saw a line of students backing toward him.
When asked for his thoughts about what was transpiring, he could only mutter, "I don't know."
Within minutes of the varsity football game against James Woods ending, BDHS students and the school's greater community formed a hand-linked fence extending along the perimeter of the entire football field, though broken up at various points. They gathered to mourn and honor senior Austin Trenum, who died around 2 a.m. Sept. 27, the result of a suicide days after being treated in the hospital for a concussion he sustained during a football game Sept. 24.
Football and lacrosse players walked past the human link and on to the field through the south endzone after lights went out at 10:06 p.m. Entering under the yellow goal post, holding white candles supplied by students Jessica Turz and Dorothy Javid, they formed a giant mass of mostly black T-shirts.
One minute later, a verse of Amazing Grace started by the students. One line of girls between the 20 and 30 yard line on the south side of the field all wore white T-shirts with "43" on the back.
History teacher Matt Kitchen asked through a microphone at 10:10 p.m. for the students to disperse from their line around the field and join the athletes in the middle so everyone could come together and see the front.
Three students and a pastor joined Kitchen on the Brentsville District home bench to give speeches and recite lyrics to The Beatles' "Let It Be". However, an impromptu story from Trenum's 10-year-old brother brought perhaps the biggest cheer.
Walker Trenum, a middle schooler who spoke without once cracking his voice, recalled a time eating cereal when his brother "pulled out a noodle and slurped all the milk" out of his bowl.
Perhaps it was the sheer innocence of such a memory that brought out such a loud ovation as the story combined with others showed how Trenum adapted his sense of humor to any given situation.
"We called him (Poppa) because he was always taking care of everyone else," said Cole Stoy. Motioning toward Walker, he added, "He made sure this little guy here was always taken care of."
Stoy brought out a chorus of laughs when he mentioned that, "We would always call him dad and try to get the free kids meal" at restaurants. That didn't work out so well when the waiters saw that he was taller than Trenum, he said.
Sam Fleshman spoke about Trenum's spontaneity and playful aggression, such as when they would go four-wheeling together or be on the receiving end of hearing Trenum suggest, "Hey, why don't we brand ourselves?"
The sheer volume of people assembled on the field coupled with the hundreds of comments left in memory of Trenum on his Facebook Web page suggested Trenum's impact on the community stretched well beyond the football field.
"I don't think he had any meanness in his soul at all," said senior Carmen Damico. "He had no enemies."
Over and over again, those leaving comments for Trenum had on display an orange Brentsville Tiger paw over a black background as their default picture. On the base of the paw, a white football helmet with "#43" printed on the top. Others used different images, but all carried the same sentiment of loss.
Before the Friday night game against James Wood, Brentsville's cheerleaders, standing in pyramid fashion, held out a giant, white "In memory of #43" hand-painted signs. A sea of white shirts, part of a school-wide "white out" in favor of Trenum, and chants of "our house!" dominated the game atmosphere from the bleachers. The Trenum family received the game ball.
Coach Reedy mentioned that for some players on the football team, the wake they attended earlier that day was their first.
"It really hit hoe today when we went to the viewing," he said.
A proper funeral followed Saturday morning at Manassas Assembly of God in Bristow and the Trenum family laid Gilbert Allen Austin Trenum III to rest at Stonewall Memorial Gardens in Manassas. The family planned to donate his brain to Boston University' Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy in order to study head injuries.
Before the Friday night rally concluded, Kitchen told the gathering to "tell those stories" about Trenum, to keep his memory alive through their shared words.
"There's people that love here," he said, "and there's always, always someone you can talk to."


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